I’M LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE ON SOCIAL-MEDIA.
BLOG POST # 16“Every time I would try to stay off the social media I would convince myself otherwise. I became a skeleton sunken in the dark closet of social media account. ”
DISCLAIMER:
Part 2 of “The Rise of Social Media'“. Check out Blog Post # 15, to start from the beginning of Tess journey. To embody the reality of the thought process there may be discontinuity within a blog post and strings of incomplete thoughts.
Would you believe me if I told you that the smile on my face only lasted as long as it took to post this picture? Would you believe me if I told you this picture is a reminder of the worst day of my life? I was in the grocery store in the aisle looking for bread when my mother called me and told me the news that my grandmother passed away. I remember the phone falling from my trembling hands as soon as she broke the news. What started off as a way to communicate with my family and friends became a place used to hide those dark feelings. Constantly scrolling through posts, videos, and liking, and commenting, became a repetitive cycle. The more I was on there the more I kept wanting to scroll through the post to feed this feeling of loneliness. It was a buzz and craving I couldn’t control and mirrored a reflection of a life that was nonexistent. The smiles, the adventures, the dates, all of them couldn’t satisfy the loneliness.
”You’re so lucky.”
“I wish I could live your life.”
“I want to be like you.”
Were the comments underneath my photos? Unlike the message in the caption, my smile was not long-lasting. If only they knew the emptiness raging inside. If only their perception knew the stories behind my lonely eyes, they would run away from the smiles that were only present when I was getting ready to post. If only they knew that they only saw highlights of a moment captioned with words that couldn’t portray the feeling I had inside. After the death of my grandmother, everyone I interacted with was through small clips of videos, audio, and photos on a screen. I never had the energy to brush my teeth, hair, or bathe unless I was going to post the activity on my social media account. I was wearing a mask and living a double life. The smiles were not my own. These short doses and boost of energy from the likes couldn’t control the frequent mood changes that occurred when I’m away from the screen. Some days I could exhibit a higher tolerance to stay off of social media, other days I experience these intense cravings to surf the web. Their perception wouldn’t be able to fathom that the more they consumed my post, the more dependent I became on their comments, likes, and shares. The euphoria only lasts as long as it takes to post.
***The Rise of Social Media Continues…***
Social media has played an integral part in strengthening our communication while weakening the basic structures of carrying a conversation with another person. Voices are almost unheard of in a room full of individuals as everyone is busy tapping their phone screen to connect with other users online. This way of communication has impacted our self-esteem, triggered anxiety, and fueled even greater social media use. A web that connected bundles of networks used to transmit emails, instant messaging, links, and pictures to share content with strangers, family, and friends has intensified the feelings of loneliness. This borderless space has allowed a colossal number of individuals across the globe to redefine their social interaction. This global pattern of socialization has permanently altered the transmission of our way of socializing and communicating with others. This massive network of meshed ideas, cultures, living, and races has fostered a generation limited to the small distribution of the characters on their keyboard. Tess’ love for social media overshadowed her touch on the reality that exists outside the frames of her computer screens. She would step aside sometimes just to be reeled into the vicious cycle of being unable to leave her computer.
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